


The strength of my Love

by illbeyourbatman



Category: Hollyoaks
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-09-21
Updated: 2014-10-18
Packaged: 2018-02-18 05:26:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,764
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2336801
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/illbeyourbatman/pseuds/illbeyourbatman
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A story surrounding the Lomax family</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I have had this on my computer for a while and while it was originally meant to be a really long one shot I got stuck so divided it in to lots of mini chapters.
> 
> Enjoy x

"We're thinking about naming her Peri." Her dad smiled at the newborn baby in his arms and Leela can feel her heart breaking. She had given birth over an hour ago, her mother was by her side the whole time.

"Hadn't really thought about it." She lies. Her baby was going to be called going to be called Rebecca if she was a girl after Leela's grandmother, but this isn't her baby. Not any more.

"Your mum hasn't committed to anything yet but it's just a matter of time." He cooed. "I was the one to name you and Tegan you know."

Her mum smiled leaning down to stroke the baby's cheek. "Exactly! So I should get to pick this ones name."

"You like boring names, you wanted to call Tegan Elizabeth!" Danny scoffed.

"What's wrong with Elizabeth?"

"How is Teags?" Leela asked.

Her dad smiled up at her. "The doctors are optimistic. They say she done really well."

"That's good." Leela said faking a smile. She was ecstatic the Tegan was going to get better it had been all she had wanted for months but right now she was more upset about the baby.

Her parents had decided months ago that she couldn't raise a baby and it was better for them all if they raised her but that wasn't what Leela wanted. She wanted to be a mum, she wanted to be Peri's mum.

"We still need to go see her actually." Sam said checking her watch. "I cannot wait to tell her about the baby, she'll be over the moon."

"I don't want to put her down." Danny whined making Sam smile.

"You've got the rest of her life to cuddle her." Sam teased. "She's going to be a right little daddy's girl, I can tell."

Her dad smiled putting Peri back into the plastic cot she had been wheeled in in. "I hope so."

Leela's thought's drifted to Cameron, her baby's father. Wondering if her mother would be saying that if it where her and Cameron raising the baby.

"You going to be OK love?" Her mum asked.

Leela smiled. "Yeah just tired, going to go for a sleep."

"Ok," Her mum said leaning over and kissing her head. "Your doing the right thing you know."

"I know." She lied. She had always been a skilled liar but she didn't think either of her parents believed her this time.

"We'll see you both tomorrow." Her dad said kissing her in the same place as her mother before leaning over to kiss the baby. "I Cannot wait till all three of my girls are home."

"Eh what about me? Am I not one of your girls." Her mother asked feigning anger.

"No." Danny said kissing her. "You're my woman."

Both parents laughed at his mushy comment as they left.

Leela watched as both her parents left before slowly creeping out of the bed acutely aware of the pain radiating through her body before making her way over to the little plastic cot that held her baby. Looking down she couldn't believe that she had created something so beautiful, so perfect. She vowed that she would never let anything in this world hurt her baby.

"Hello." She murmured slowly reaching her finger out and touching the tiny little fingers. "I'm you're mummy and you, you are so perfect."

"Do you want a little hold before we take her away to the nursery?" A nurse asked coming into the room undetected.

Leela froze unsure what to do. "Erm yeah, Yeah I want to hold her."

"Pop onto the bed and I'll pass her over." The nurse said scooping up Peri.

Leela climbed onto the bed waiting hesitantly unsure.

"Here we go mummy." The nurse said putting Peri in her arms before she had a chance to say she had changed her mind.

Mummy. It was the first time someone had called her that. The title made her heart beat faster. For one night she was this little girls mummy.

"Am I doing this right?" She asked feeling self-conscious when holding the baby, scared she was doing it totally wrong.

"She'll soon tell you if you aren't." The nurse reassured. "I'll be back for her in 10 minutes let you get some sleep."

"OK." Leela replied distractedly to besotted with the tiny baby in her arms.

"I don't know what to say to you." She said stroking her hat covered head. "I want to tell you I'm your mummy. I want to always be you're mummy, I just can't right now they don't think I can handle it..." Leela spoke softly against the baby's hat covered head, tears making their way down her cheeks.

She wanted to run. Just take her baby and run some place they would never find her but she couldn't. She couldn't do that to Peri.

"But," She smiled trying to be brave for her baby. "No matter how much it hurts me I want what's best for you, that's all that matters. You are going to have a wonderful life, I'm going to make sure of it and no matter what I will always be there for you, even if I am just your big sister. I'll be the best big sister you ever had. Don't tell Tegan I said that." She laughed through her tears, knowing how happy Tegan would be not to be the youngest any more.

"I want you to know that no one, no one in this world will ever love you as much as I do but that's why I have to do this, I have to let you go."

Leela spent the rest of what little time she had left holding just her daughter.


	2. Chapter 2

"Dad will you tell her!" Tegan yelled at the top of her lungs. "She keeps going into my bag and taking my stuff!"

"Honey she's barely a year old." Danny said lifting Peri up into his arms. "I doubt she's deliberately trying to annoy you."

"She keeps pulling out my homework and trying to draw on it! Last time I didn't notice and Mrs Fisher shouted at me and I had to stay in at break." Tegan raged.

"Well maybe you shouldn't leave your school bag lying around."

"You always take her side." Tegan pouted.

Danny sighed. "She's a baby love, You know I love you all the same but she can't defend herself."

"If you loved me you wouldn't have felt the need to go and have another one!" Tegan fumed stomping up the stairs.

Danny just continued to rock Peri back and forth used to all the mood swings in his house now. "You're big sister doesn't mean that, Leela said the same thing about Tegan and look at them now. Best of friends."

"I'll have you know I meant every word I said." Leela chimed in from her place on the sofa. "I would have preferred a dog."

"And I'll tell you the same thing I told you then, Leela your sister is not getting swapped for a dog." Danny smiled.

"A Dog!" Tegan yelled coming back down the stairs. "Did you just call me a dog!"

"No." Leela replied calmly flicking through her magazine. "I said I would have preferred a dog."

"Really! Well anything would be better than having you as a sister!"

"Oh that's right go in a little strop cause you're not centre of attention any more." Leela said distastefully.

Tegan screamed. "Like I've ever been centre of attention with you around."

"So I dreamed that year when you where in hospital and mum and dad where at your beck and call did I?" Leela snorted. "Didn't think so!"

"I had cancer you selfish cow!"

"That's enough!" Sam roared coming through the door. "What's all the racket about? I could hear you half way down the road!"

As soon as the words left her mouth Sam knew she had made a mistake. Both the girls and Danny decided to take that as a declaration to tell their version of events louder that the rest.

"All right!" She roared again. "I get it you all hate each other. Just give me my one uncorrupted child please."

Sam smiled stretching her arms out and taking Peri from Danny. "Hello Peri Winkle."

"Ew." Tegan muttered.

"Right what's going on here." Sam asked before quickly amending seeing as they where all going to talk over each other again. "I was asking your dad."

"Tegan is annoyed that Peri keeps trying to play with her stuff and thinks we love Peri more than her."

Sam softened a bit at his words. "Oh honey, We love Peri just as much as we love you and Leela."

"Doesn't seem like it." Tegan muttered.

"You're dad and I love you and Leela very much." Sam said hugging Tegan close to her. "Just as much as we love Peri. If anything you're my favourite."

"Nice mum." Leela said.

"Well the other two are complete daddy's girls."

Danny joined in with the hug holding Peri, sandwiching the four of them together. "I have to be the luckiest man alive to be surrounded by four beautiful girls for the rest of my life."

"Yeah right." Tegan muttered trying to stop the smile growing on her face. "I have no doubt you love me but sometimes I wish we spend more time together."

"Me too." Sam said mournfully. "But between my job and running after you lot I don't really have a lot of free time."

"We could do something together if you want." Danny said. "Maybe go to the cinema tonight? It's Friday so we're all off tomorrow."

"What about Peri?" Sam asked.

"I'll watch her." Leela said causing everyone's attention to turn to her. "You both deserve a night off. Take Teeg's to the cinema then get something to eat."

"I don't know." Sam said doubtfully. "Why don't you join us I can ask Holly next door to babysit."

"I've got a bit of a headache nothing major just fancy a quiet night."

"Are you sure love?" Danny asked worriedly.

"Yeah, go, enjoy yourselves. You never go out."

Danny turned to Sam. "She's right, it has been a while since we've done anything together."

"So a date night?" Sam asked doubtfully. "With our daughter."

"It will be brilliant mum." Tegan said enthusiastically. "Please say yes!"

Sam rolled her eyes heaving out a sigh. "Go on then."

"Yes!" Tegan yelled over excitedly.

"Are you sure you're going to be OK?" Sam asked fretfully. "I can still ask Mrs White to come help out if you want."

Sam, Tegan and Danny where all dressed ready for their night out, the only thing holding them back was Sam.

"I'll be fine, now hand her over." Leela said holding out her arms for Peri.

Sam reluctantly handed her over, kissing her forehead as she did so. "She hasn't had her supper yet and she'll need a bath but-"

"Make sure to feed her first because she always falls asleep after the bath, I know."

"Good." Sam nodded turning to leave before quickly spinning around again. "And you've got all of our numbers, I even wrote down the number of the cinema and what we're seeing if there is an emergency."

"Can you just get her out of here please dad." Leela smiled bouncing Peri on her hip.

"Come on Sam, she knows what she's doing. Tegan's getting anxious." Danny said gently pulling Sam to the door.

"Bye! Have fun!"

"I'll phone after the film to see if everything's alright." Leela heard her mum yell as she got dragged away.

"Just you and me now Pez." Leela smiled kissing her head. "What are we going to do?"

Peri continued to stuff her hands in her mouth completely ignoring Leela.

"See if anyone had told me 2 years ago that I would voluntarily stay in on a Friday night I would I would have laughed at them. I used to actually have a social life before you. None of my so-called friends what to know me now." Leela said her smile dimming a bit at the memory's. "I wouldn't trade you for the world though."

It was the first time she had been left alone with Peri. To start with her parents, mostly her mother hadn't left her alone with Peri afraid that it would stir up some maternal instinct. A longing to be Peri's mother what they hadn't realised was Leela had always felt that way, that No matter who was raising Peri or what other people thought she would still be her daughter. No matter what.

As time went on they started easing up a little around her. Trusting her to babysit while her dad when for a shower an her mum was at work or vise versa but never for an extended amount of time like this. She was equal amounts excited and terrified.

"You've been fed and changed why are you crying!" Leela said frustrated. The night had gone so well up until bed time Peri hadn't cried once now she couldn't seem to stop.

"Look it's you're bear you love him." She said desperately waving the teddy at Peri to no avail if anything she cried harder. "Peri you need to tell me what's wrong! I cannot help you unless you tell me what's wrong!" Leela said near tears lifting Peri out of the cot.

Peri seemed to calm down once she was in Leela's arms. Letting out little sniffles instead of full on sobbing like before.

"You miss mum and dad don't you." Leela said. She knew it was stupid to feel jealous but she couldn't help it. Peri missed her parents and it just hurt so much that it wasn't her. She wasn't good enough.

She laid down on her parents bed with Peri curled up on her chest.

"I used to sneak into mum and dad's bed all the time as a kid. They would always give me a row for it in the morning but I still done it. I used to get so scared by the reflection of that stupid tree in the garden that I would be too scared to sleep." Leela said stroking Peri's back softly.

"Dad tried to tell me that it was just a shadow, that it couldn't hurt me but I didn't listen. One night there was this really big storm, I woke up and ran through to their room but they weren't there. I don't think I had ever been so scared before, I just went and lay in the middle of their bed and cried. The babysitter found me there the next morning I had cried myself to sleep. It turns out that mum had went into labour that night after putting me to bed and her and dad we're at the hospital with Tegan."

Leela lay in the bed for hours just stroking Peri's head long after she'd fallen asleep but couldn't find it in her to move.

"Leela?"

"Hey." Leela whispered turning to look at her mother's bewildered face.

"What's going on?"

"Peri wouldn't stop crying, She missed you." Sam's face softened at the statement. "When she wasn't going to sleep I figured she might feel better surrounded by your scent."

"Like you where." Sam smiled coming over and sitting on the bed. "You always used to take one of dad's used t-shirts to bed with you."

"I read it a book once that baby's find the scent of their parents soothing."

"You should have called us."

"You deserved a night off."

"A mother never has a night off." Sam laughed. "Even when she's not with her children she's still thinking about them."

Leela smiled at her mother knowing how true that was.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm a horrible person and I am sorry that this is so late but college is kicking my ass!
> 
> Your reviews and messages really make my day so thank you to everyone who reads this and actually likes this, actually even if you don't like it tell me I love a bit of criticism.

She was late.

She was really, really late.

It wasn't her first time taking Peri to nursery but it was definitely the most chaotic, her mum and dad both had been at work quite often so it usually fell on Leela to take her. She had finished school that year and had no idea what she wanted to do with her life much to her parents chagrin. So until she figured it out she was on Peri duty and her mother definitely didn't approve of that.

Everything that could go wrong that morning did go wrong. First she had slept in, then the kettle had broken meaning she couldn't get her morning coffee, Now she was having at argument with Peri about shoes! All in all it was a horrible morning.

"You're wearing the trainers!" Leela said frustrated. She had been having the same argument for the last 10 minutes and she was seriously considering just taking Peri to nursery without shoes.

"No." Peri replied stubbornly.

"We do not have time for this Peri!"

"They're ugly and I'm not wearing them."

"You picked them!" Leela shouted frustratedly. "You cannot wear wellies in the middle of summer."

"Yes I can."

"No you can't."

"Why?" Peri asked.

"Because I said so!"

"That's not a reason."

"Yes it is!"

"No."

"Yes it is."

"NO!"

Leela had had enough playing around with her and started trying to force the shoes on Peri.

"NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!"

"OK fine." Leela sighed giving up. "But just know that everyone is going to laugh at you when they see you wearing those shoes."

"OK." Peri shrugged not really caring what others thought she loved her new wellies.

After dropping Peri off at nursery she hastily made her way to the local café for her shift. She usually picked up a few hours everyday when Peri was at nursery saving her from going stir crazy and gave her some money for nights out.

"I'm so sorry I'm late." Leela said rushing through the unusually busy café into the back room to put her apron on. "You would not believe how stubborn Peri was this afternoon going to nursery, I really don't want to know what she's going to be like as a teenager."

Tammy laughed from her place at the till. "Leela I don't think there has been a day you haven't been late. If you where actually here on time I would start to worry."

"You have a point." Leela smiled bumping her hip with Tammy's

"So what did you argue about today then?"

"You don't even want to know." Leela said rolling her eyes.

"She's a handful that girl." Tammy laughed. "Just like her big sister."

"Too right." Leela replied cheekily secretly wished that Peri turned out nothing like her. "Why's it so busy in here anyway, someone invite the knitting club."

"Shhh!" Tammy whispered. "They're not that old and can hear you."

"Doubtful." Leela snorted.

"It's a reading group I think, they're hear every Friday."

"I've never seen them."

"That's because for the last 3 Fridays you've been going on nature walks with the nursery."

"You should have told me if it was this busy, those things aren't mandatory there are lots of parents willing to go in my place."

"It's nothing I couldn't handle and I knew how much you love those days and Peri. I wasn't going to be the one to break that little girls heart."

"You are an amazing friend, do you know that." Leela said hugging Tammy tightly.

Tammy laughed squeezing her back with just as much force. "Aww you're just saying that cause it's true."

Despite the fact that there where more customers than she was used to in the tiny café, Leela's shift went by as normal with her spending the majority of her time in the kitchen and Tammy operating the till. She was lucky really that she had found this place.

It was after the first had she had dropped Peri off at nursery and didn't want to be to far away encase they called her to come and pick her up. She ended up spending the rest of the day there. Then it kid of became a habit drop Peri off at 11am and wait at the café till 3.30pm till it was time to pick her up. Eventually Tammy's mother Anna who owned the place had taken pity on her and handed her a cloth to give to tables a once over claiming if she was going to sit there every afternoon she might as well make herself useful.

"Leela you'd better go if you want to get there on time." Tammy shouted breaking Leela's train of thought.

"What? Oh god I'm going to be late." Leela moaned looking at the clock.

"No you won't it's only up the road."

"Yeah and she expects me to be there waiting for her, you know what she's like."

"A diva."

"Well it's not the word I'd use but it will do."

"You're bad."

"I know." Leela shrugged hastily making her way through the café. That was the only way she seemed to get anywhere these days hastily.

"Leela." She heard called behind her but she didn't have time to talk.

"Sorry I'm busy." She called out not bothering to turn around.

"Leela Lomax." She heard, frustrated Leela turned around really to tell the person where to go but was shocked to see who was calling her name.

"Mrs Campbell?"


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thought you lovely people should get another update before I go back to college since I don't know the next time I will update.
> 
> Sorry.
> 
> Reviews live me life!

"I thought that was you." Mrs Campbell smiled albeit hesitantly.

Leela stood shock still unable to process what was happening. "I, What are you doing here?"

"Lachlan lives no to far from here now," She replied. "I just wanted to say hello, I know that after all that business with Cameron that your parents didn't really want you around us anymore but it would be nice to catch up sometime, if your free of course."

"I don't know." Leela replied hesitantly still to shocked to process what was going on. "Mum wouldn't like that."

Mrs Campbell laughed. "Since when have you listened to anything anyone else had to say, what happened to that rebellious girl who snuck through my sons bedroom window most nights."

Leela looked at her in shock.

"You didn't think I knew about that? Honey neither of you where very subtle, a heard of elephants in my front room would have been more subtle."

"This is just a shock is all."

"I imagine it is, I haven't spoken to you since before Cam got arrested."

"I really need to go." Leela said not wanting to talk anymore.

Mrs Campbell persisted. "I want you to know I don't blame you. You did what you had to."

"What?" Leela said frozen in shock. All that kept going through her mind was 'She knows' Flashing like a neon sign.

"Moving away. I cannot tell you the amount of times I thought about time getting away from there especially after what Cam did. I want you to know that I don't blame you for moving on with your life, it's for the best no matter what Cameron thinks."

"He's asked about me?" Leela asked light-headed from the revelation. She was sure that he hated her because it was her mum that put him away.

"Your all he used to talk about. Ready to blame everyone but himself for where he ended up. "Seeing Leela's face drop she elaborated. "No! He doesn't blame you honey, He's blaming you're mum, saying she's setting him up."

"She wouldn't do that." Not to me, she added silently.

"Don't worry about it, He has no one to blame bar himself, Sometimes I don't want to visit him either but he is my son no matter what he's done."

"Visit him?"

"He sent you visiting orders before you moved? I thought you knew?"

"No, he didn't, I waited for him to reach out to me but he never." Leela replied feeling slightly hysterical. Her whole decision the get Peri to her parents was built on the fact Cameron didn't want anything to do with her, She couldn't raise a baby alone.

Mrs Campbell frowned. "Leela he did, You where all he talked about for the first year inside. He even had Lachlan try to look for you when he found out you'd moved."

"I never got a visiting order." Leela denied. She knew for a fact that he didn't try to contact her. She had spent months sitting by the phone waiting for it to ring. He mother had even pulled some strings and found out where he was and Leela had written him letter after letter begging for an explanation but none came.

"I don't know what to tell you honey, he loves you so much. He wouldn't just leave you hanging like that."

Loves not Loved Leela noted.

"Well he did!" Leela exploded. "He left me, Never once asked what I thought about his stupid plan, did he even take me into consideration? No! He ruined my life the day to got sent to prison."

"Leela he did what he did for you."

"I didn't ask him to rob a bank." Leela blanched. "I spent months going over every conversation we ever had and not once did he even imply he was going to do something that stupid."

"He said he was doing it for you," Mrs Campbell said softly. "That you two where planning on running away together."

"I didn't ask him to do that!"

They had talked about running away with each other,. Away from their family's, away from school, away from all the pressure that they where under because they wanted to be together but she didn't know he had taken her serious.

"You didn't need too, He was stupidly in love with you. He would have done anything."

Leela wanted to dispute what she was saying but knew deep down Mrs Campbell was right. They where stupid kids that fell too hard too fast and as scary as that was it was even scarier the lengths she knew Cameron would go for her.

"You can't change the past," Leela smiled bitterly. "What's done is done no matter how much we want to change that we can't."

"No we can't." Mrs Campbell agreed. "But that doesn't mean it doesn't still hurt."

"Trust me, I got over Cameron a long time ago."

"Really?" Mrs Campbell asked doubtfully. "Cause it doesn't look that way from where I'm standing."

"What you mean you don't have my whole life figured out from the 5 minute conversation with you bombarding me with things from the past? Colour me shocked."

"I always liked that about you." She smiled.

"What?"

"The fact that you didn't take any bull from anyone, even back then I knew you would be good for Cam."

"Really cause it didn't seem that way when you where telling us to stay apart." Leela snorted at Mrs Campbell's rose-tinted version of the past.

"But you never did listen, if anything I think that made you want to be together even more."

"Yeah we were a regular Romeo and Juliette." Leela said checking her watch cursing when she realised she was really late now. "Look as fun as this was I really need to go I'm late."

"Act least take my number, encase you change your mind." She said trying to hand Leela a piece of paper where she had hastily written her number.

"I won't." Leela said walking away.

"You where late." Peri huffed.

"I know baby I'm sorry but I got held up at work." Leela soothed.

"All the mummy's and daddy's had already camed and not you!" Peri said. "You forgot me!"

"I could never forget you, Your far to pretty to forget." Leela said pinching Peri's cheeks.

"Stop." Peri said wiggling her tiny body away from Leela. "I'm going to tell mummy and she'll rest you."

"Well if she arrests me then who'll pick you up from school?" Leela said feigning hurt.

"I'm a big girl I can walk home on my own."

"And you wouldn't be scared?" Leela asked.

"Nope."

"Really? OK." Leela shrugged dropping Peri's hand and walking in the other direction.

"Leela? Where you go Leela?" Peri shouted running after her.

"Well I figured since you don't need me any more I can go and have some fun at the park while you walk home." Leela said innocently.

"I come! Leela, we go to the park?" Peri said catching up with Leela after she slowed down.

"I don't know," Leela said pretending to think. "You're a big girl now you wont like the park."

"No! No I little, See!" Peri said grabbing her hand and putting it on her head. "I little."

Leela just laughed lifting her into her arms.


End file.
